#1 “Wow, the food really sucks here. It reminds me of that time I murdered a child.”
#2 “Hey, a lot of people say I look like John Harvard.”
#3 “Aw, the math placement exam was terrible. I thought they said to use a #2 Dildo. Boy was I wrong.”
#4 “Yeah, it’s fucking ridiculous. They have me living with like one roommate. Once he played music softly from his computer and then I told him that it was difficult for me to study while music is playing. Then he stopped. He insists on using a blue backpack. What a douche bag.”
#5 “Hey I’m Zach. I could not properly identify circles until I was eleven years old.”
#6 “Wow, you’re from Thayer Hall? I’m a homosexual too.”
#7 “Same. I thought the Lamont Library Open House provided a great deal of pertinent information too.”
#8 “You’re from Maryland? Wow. Absolutely fascinating.”
#9 “Truth be told, I have no respect for the janitorial staff. They are mostly uneducated.”
#10 “Hi, I’m Drew Faust.”
#11 “Once I held a young child’s mouth closed to keep him from making noise. After a while he suffocated to death. Hey, I’m from Canaday too!”
#12 “Cool. Same here. I was thinking of concentrating in either Premed or Expos.”
#13 “What’s interesting to me is that this conversation is compounding most of my racial prejudices.”
#14 “Do you happen to have directions to Anneberg?”
#15 “In retrospect, Community Conversations probably would have been more fun than masturbating alone in my dorm room.”
#16 “Hi, I’m Michael Sandal.”
#17 “Did you happen to notice that a large number of kids are using cellphones and other electronic devices to contact their friends and family?”
#18 “Jeeze, this blueberry pie tastes like human blood.”
#19 “Hey I’m Max. I think abortion is murder. What’s your name?”
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